Public Speaking Feels Like Life or Death—Here’s Why (And How to Fix It!)

If you've ever had to give a presentation, speak up in a meeting, or even faced an unexpected encounter with your boss, you’re probably familiar with the feeling: butterflies in your stomach, clammy hands, shaking knees, and a mind that goes blank. The heat rises, and the moment feels like it’s dragging on forever. Sound familiar?

So, why is public speaking so terrifying? Why does the fear of speaking in front of others hold us back from advancing in our careers or sharing our valuable ideas?

The root of this fear often lies in our concern about judgment and rejection. We worry about falling out of favour, being seen as failures, or losing our reputation. But is this really the truth, or is it just how public speaking feels?

To understand this let’s take a trip back about 100,000 years to the time of cavemen. Imagine you’re that caveman, exploring new territory and feeling vulnerable and exposed as dusk approaches. Suddenly, you hear a crack in the bushes. Your entire body goes into overdrive—muscles tense, awareness heightens, and you feel incredibly nervous, what if it is that tiger that your friend told you about? You wish you could return to a place of safety but you are stuck in the present situation.

Isn’t this a lot like our experience with public speaking? We feel exposed, vulnerable, and our nervous system is on high alert. The problem is, there are no tigers in the bushes, just colleagues in a meeting room or strangers at the conference.

Understanding the Fear: SPOILER ALERT It's Not You, It's Your Body

The real culprit here is your brain's limbic system and amygdala. This part of your brain processes sensory information and reacts based on primal programming. When it detects signs of vulnerability and tension, it triggers a fight-or-flight response—known as amygdala hijacking, read more about amygdala hijacking in our last blogpost here. This alters how you process information and intensifies your feelings of anxiety.

The more you focus on your feelings of exposure and nervousness, the more intense these emotions become until you feel like you are losing control over your faculties, and in a way that is true. This cycle hijacks your nervous system, making you feel like you’re facing a real threat, even if it’s just a paper tiger.

How to Manage Your Nervous System: The Power of Breathwork

The key to overcoming this fear is to manage your nervous system effectively. Positive thinking alone won’t cut it, trust me; you need to use breathwork to regulate your body’s response.

When you inhale, the sympathetic nervous system activates, preparing your body for action. As you exhale, the parasympathetic nervous system takes over, calming your body and mind. This balance helps reduce tension and anxiety.

Imagine our caveman, feeling vulnerable upon hearing that crack. Instead of panicking, he takes a deep breath, grounds himself, and calmly approaches the bushes. He discovers a rabbit, not a tiger, and successfully secures his meal.

The Takeaway: Mindfulness and Self-Talk

Just as the caveman used mindfulness to assess his situation accurately, you can use mindfulness and breathwork to manage your nervous system during public speaking. By understanding that your emotions are merely messengers, you can prevent them from hijacking your performance.

Being mindful of your internal communication helps you interpret emotions correctly and remain calm under pressure. This approach not only enhances your public speaking but also boosts your overall confidence and capability in various situations.

The difference will be significant: Becoming more mindful of your emotions and how you communicate with yourself can dramatically improve your performance and reduce anxiety, not only in public speaking but in all high energy situations.

So, my invitation to you is this: Embrace mindfulness, understand your emotions, and recognise how your internal dialogue shapes your identity and behaviour. By doing so, you’ll find yourself more capable of handling pressure and delivering standout presentations, no matter the setting.

Ready to take control of your nerves and speak with confidence? Drop a comment below and let me know your biggest public speaking challenge! Or DM me if you want personalised tips to manage your nerves and own the stage. Let’s get you speaking with ease!