The Hidden Weight Your Team Carries (and How to Recognise It)

You may know this situation: One of your top performers—always reliable, always delivering—starts seeming a little off. They’re still doing great work, but something’s changed. They’re quieter in meetings, less engaged in the usual banter.

You catch them after a team catch-up. “Hey, everything alright? You seem a bit off lately.”

They glance up, offer a quick smile—too quick. “Yeah, all good.”

But you can tell it’s not the whole story.

As a manager, your ability to recognise emotional labour—the unseen effort people put into managing their emotions at work—can make the difference between a team that thrives and one that quietly struggles.

What Is Emotional Labour?

Emotional labour is the effort required to manage emotions to meet workplace expectations. It’s the customer service rep staying cheerful despite frustration, the team leader remaining calm under pressure, or the junior employee masking self-doubt to appear confident.

Take the high-performing employee from earlier—the one who insists they’re “all good” despite seeming withdrawn. They’re still delivering results, but beneath the surface, they may be expending extra emotional effort just to appear fine. Maybe they’re managing stress, personal struggles, or burnout, all while keeping up the professional façade.

Unlike physical labour, emotional labour isn’t always visible, but it directly impacts performance, engagement, and well-being. Often, the only way to spot it is by reading the nonverbal cues underpinning every movement we make—the hesitation before answering, the forced smile, the tension in their posture. These subtle signs tell a story that words often don’t.

Why Non-Verbal Cues Matter

Over 90% of how people perceive their ability to do their job effectively is based on non-factual, emotional factors. This means logic alone won’t help you understand your team’s true state—you need to pay attention to the non-verbal signals:

✅ Changes in body language – A once-animated speaker now gives brief answers and avoids eye contact.

✅ Micro-expressions – A fleeting look of frustration before a forced smile in a meeting.

✅ Tone and pace of speech – A confident employee suddenly speaks more hesitantly.

The Unseen Burnout

Take Emma, a senior project manager, who was known for her energy and positive attitude. She never missed deadlines and always supported her team. But over time, her responses became shorter, she stopped contributing ideas in meetings, and she began to take longer breaks.

Her manager, David, noticed the shift. Instead of assuming she was disengaged, he approached her with:

"I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately. I know you’ve been managing a heavy workload—how’s everything feeling on your end?"

Emma initially brushed it off but later admitted she was emotionally exhausted from handling difficult clients. David worked with her to adjust client expectations and encouraged open conversations about emotional strain. The result? Emma regained her energy, and the team felt more comfortable discussing emotional stress before it reached breaking point.

Communicating on an Emotional Level

Being able to verbalise what’s happening emotionally creates a level of communication that goes beyond facts. When people feel heard, they feel valued, and their performance improves.

Try this:

🗣 Instead of: “You seem disengaged lately.”

✅ Say: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings. Is there anything on your mind?”

🗣 Instead of: “This is just part of the job.”

✅ Say: “This situation is tough—how are you feeling about managing it?”

By naming emotions, you normalise discussing them, allowing for real conversations instead of surface-level check-ins.

Become a More Mindful Communicator

Emotional labour isn’t something you can see on a spreadsheet, but it’s constantly shaping your workplace. As a leader, your ability to read between the lines, acknowledge emotional effort, and open up deeper conversations can transform the way your team works.

So, next time you check in with someone, go beyond the “How’s work going?” and listen for what’s not being said. Your team’s well-being—and performance—depends on it.

If you have any questions or want to run something past me, feel free to visit the contact page and email me.