The benefits of body language and how you can use it to your advantage.
Communication Through Gestures and Facial Expressions
How often are you mindful of what the body language of others says? How about your own body language signals and cues? Chances are not as often as you could, mostly because body language is unconscious and automatic. However, body language accounts for more than 55% of all communication, our tone of voice is in hot pursuit coming in at 38% and spoken words make up only about 7% of our overall communication, based on the findings of Albert Mehrabian and the 55/38/7 Rule. So it is worth becoming more of mindful body language to understand and utilise it to your advantage.
We all use body language, posture, gestures and expressions when we communicate. Even when we think, it expresses the emotions and self-talk that is presently alive in us.
In conversation, we use nonverbal cues to speak to others through our facial expressions, body movements, posture, eye contact, hand gestures, tone and volume of voice, and micro-expressions that hold meaning for us as well as for the listener.
It is body language expressions that emphasize or give context to the words we use. Learning to read body language, and being mindful when expressing ourselves through our body language, will help improve communication.
Nonverbal communication is a two-way street. When you feel comfortable communicating with your own body, it’s possible to become proficient with nonverbal communication and speak with more confidence and purpose. In turn, this allows others to become more confident or comfortable as well.
In fact, mindfully communicating through body language and other nonverbal signals can make a serious difference in increasing the quantity of positive results you are wanting to achieve. As you work on your skills for communicating with nonverbal signals, you’ll naturally gain more understanding of the craft and increase your skills on how to analyse body language that others display, and that has great benefits for your ability to connect with meaning.
The Types Of Body Language Communication
Using positive body language can help you get what you want if you know how to use it. It can help you in an interview, help you sell your products and services, deal better with arguments, or create deeper connections in a relationship.
Negative body language, on the other hand, can block you from getting the things you want. What's more, it can cause you to create rifts in your friendships, sabotage you from taking advantage of opportunities at work, or offend and alienate people you want to build better relationships with.
How Reliable Is Communication Through Body Language?
Body language is not only powerful, but it's usually reliable for revealing your true feelings, too. However, body language isn't completely trustworthy if the person expressing it knows how to exploit it well. Consider the poker player who has perfected their body language to the point that the other players don't see their "tells." The phrase "poker face" is well known to most people. It describes an impassive expression that hides or alters one's true feelings.
Body language comes through most of the time whether you intend to reveal it or not. However, you need to be mindful when assessing someone else's nonverbal communication cues. You may interpret body language one way, but the gesture may mean something entirely different to someone else. When reading body language cues, it is particularly important to consider the context and possible cultural differences between people.
Body Language Examples
The following body language examples are common. It's usually easy to determine their meaning once you've learned them. Read through the examples and become mindful of when they appear in your communications and how changing posture can change how you experience yourself in the conversation.
Arms Crossed Across The Chest
Sitting or standing with your arms crossed across your chest is almost always seen as defensive body language. When a person crosses their arms, they are viewed as doubtful, irritated, or closed off. When you do it, you're closed off and disengaged. You may appear angry or uncompromising.
If you see someone with their arms and legs crossed for a long period, remember that it could indicate that the temperature where you are is too cold. It could also mean that they are either comfortable and resting or tired.
Tapping Your Fingers or Nervous Legs
When you tap your fingers or wiggle your leg too much, you appear impatient and possibly nervous about waiting. If you’re a finger tapper or tend to wiggle your leg, be aware that it’s one of those nonverbal signals that can grate on others’ nerves.
Tilting Your Head to One Side
When you tilt your head to the side, it usually means you're listening intently and deeply interested in finding out the information you're being told. It can also mean you're concentrating very hard. In dating, it might indicate that you are open and are looking for a closer connection.
Pulling Your Ear
When you tug on your ear, it indicates that you are trying to make a decision but just haven't made up your mind yet. You seem indecisive or noncommittal. Or you might be hiding some information that you do not want another person to hear, or you might disagree with what you just heard. Again, context is crucially important when it comes to body language interpretation.
Standing Up Straight
Standing erect with good posture shows you feel confident. Having wide shoulders and an open chest will show that you are not afraid and can hold your own. There is a reason why suit jackets are tailored how they are.
Gesturing with Your Hands Open and Palms Up
What you do with your hands makes a significant difference in whether people trust you or not. Hold your hands open and gesture with your palms up to show that, no, you don't have anything hidden from them. In most service industries there is an emphasis on staff to avoid holding their hands behind their backs but to keep them resting in front of the body where they can be seen.
Eye Contact
You need to make eye contact with the person you're talking to if you want them to feel comfortable with the conversation and accept what you have to say. Most people are comfortable with eye contact for around three seconds at a time if you're a stranger. When you become a friend, they usually don't mind having eye contact with you for longer at a time. Keep in mind cultural differences exist. As an example, for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, avoidance of eye contact is customarily a gesture of respect. In Western society averting the gaze can be viewed as being dishonest, rude or showing a lack of interest. Some (but not all) Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people may therefore be uncomfortable with direct eye contact, especially if unfamiliar. To make direct eye contact can be viewed as being rude, disrespectful or even aggressive. To convey polite respect, the appropriate approach would be to avert or lower your eyes in conversation.
Steepling Your Fingers
This is a power position you might see in many public speakers or leaders. Holding your fingertips together and your palms apart let people know you have authority and control. Leaders and politicians use this gesture frequently to show they're in charge.
Putting Your Head In Your Hands
When you put your head in your hands, it might mean that you're bored or tired, as if you're so exhausted from life that you just can't hold the weight of your head anymore. Or, it can mean that you're so ashamed or embarrassed that you don't want to show your face.
Looking Down
Looking at the ground can make you seem inadequate, weak or unconfident. Unless there's something that just caught your attention down there, you need to keep your eyes on the level of the other person's face, at least every so often for 3 seconds or less. When you break eye contact, as you should every few seconds, try looking to the side instead.
Rubbing Your Hands Together
Rubbing your hands shows how excited you are about a new project or road trip. Just rub your hands together vigorously, it will show others how excited you are and even have an impact on how you feel internally. Body language never only goes one way!
Microexpressions
Microexpressions are extremely brief facial expressions that happen in about 1/25th of a second. They happen when you're trying to hold back your emotions. When you see someone showing a microexpression, it usually means that they're trying to conceal something from you. However, if you learn to spot them, you can gain an advantage in any type of interaction.
Walking with purpose
When you want to show that you are self-confident, walk steady and with a good pace without seeming rushed. Whether you're going somewhere specific or not, walk as if you're striding confidently toward an important destination.
Rubbing Your Jaw
When you rub your jaw, you show that you're thinking and carefully considering the information you're receiving. When you witness someone doing this while you're talking to them, you can usually assume that they're taking you seriously enough to consider what you're saying.
Rubbing Your Eye
When you rub your eye, it usually means you doubt or question what you're hearing. If someone is rubbing their eye as you speak, you might benefit from circling the topic one more time and addressing their doubts before moving on in your conversation to avoid losing them altogether.
Rubbing or Touching Your Nose
When you rub or touch your nose with your index finger, you might appear untrustworthy as if you are not telling the truth. If you see someone else rubbing their nose, it's a good indication that you need to be mindful not to believe everything they tell you without further examination.
Another time rubbing or touching your nose might be giving you away is when you close your eyes and pinch the bridge of your nose, you seem to be constructing a negative evaluation of what's happening in the conversation in your mind. If someone touches or rubs their nose with you, you may need to take a different approach in enlisting their support for your goal.
Standing With Your Hands On Your Hips
You know this pose from cowboy or cop movies. This pose is thorny. In some cases, it may mean that you are angry, in others, it may simply mean that you're eager to get something done or it means that you are feeling superior to those around you. How someone may interpret your meaning of this stance depends on the context it appears in, body language is always realtive to the situation.
Body Language Communication Examples
Learning body language examples is a great first step to sending the right body language messages. It also helps you read the unspoken messages and nonverbal signals that others are sending to you. However, knowing the right motions, gestures, and facial expressions can only take you so far. If you want to have healthy, productive interactions with others, you may need to work toward a better understanding of yourself and the people in your life.Couples, colleagues or teams who misread each other's body language can quickly fall into the trap of misreading the situation and end up disappointed or feel out of sync with each other. If you need help learning to communicate with your significant other or anyone else, it may benefit you to get in contact with a coach.
You can reach out to me for personal or professional face-to-face or online coaching at your convenience. The reality is that a coach can help you to improve your personality by helping you to better understand and process what's alive in you and help you to use verbal and nonverbal communication to become the person that you really want to be in every situation.
You can become fluent in mindful communication by better understanding body language. Even better, you can develop your character so that your body language naturally shows others the wonderful person you really are!