Speaking Up When It’s Hard: A Guide for Conscientious Professionals

Have you ever been in a situation where you were asked a question—maybe in a professional setting—where you knew you knew the answer? But in that urgent moment, with the pressure mounting from those around you, your thoughts scattered. You couldn't collect yourself, and instead of delivering a confident answer, you stuttered out something incoherent. The people you wanted to impress now potentially have an opinion of you that doesn’t represent who you truly are. Does that sound familiar? 

If so, this article is for you. Let’s talk about the challenges conscientious people face when speaking up, especially in high-pressure situations, and how you can manage these moments more effectively.

Understanding the Conscientious Personality

According to the DISC personality model, created by psychologist William Moulton Marston in the 1920s. Marston developed this model to explain how people's emotions and behaviours are influenced by their environment and their interaction with others. Conscientious individuals thrive on detailed information and thorough preparation. They feel secure and confident when they can create well-thought-out responses, often relying on extensive research or data. This meticulousness, while beneficial in many situations, can become a hindrance when they need to speak impromptu.

The Discomfort of Speaking Impromptu

For conscientious people, the idea of speaking without preparation can be deeply unsettling. They prefer to have their Excel spreadsheets, detailed scenarios, and backup plans ready before engaging in a conversation. Speaking off the cuff feels like stepping into the unknown without a safety net.

However, what if you, as a conscientious person, could speak up spontaneously and still make sense? How would this change your professional and personal life?

Mindfully Managing Your State

Our experiences are often driven by the neurochemicals that underpin them. When asked to speak off the cuff, our bodies flood with adrenaline and cortisol—the stress hormones. This rush can impair the frontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for logical thinking and reasoning, making coherent thought challenging.

Step 1: Awareness

Firstly, become aware of what you need in such moments. Often, our focus is on the pressing threat—the expectations of others—rather than our own needs. Shift your focus to what you require to feel safe and comfortable.

Step 2: Breathwork

Breathwork can work wonders here. By consciously controlling your breath, you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which induces a rest-and-rejuvenate response. This relaxation response helps reduce tension, re-engage your frontal cortex, and reconnect you with logical and clear thinking.

Practical Techniques

Pause and Breathe: When faced with a sudden question, take a deep breath. This simple act can ground you and give you a moment to collect your thoughts.

Clarify the Question: If the question is too vague, don’t hesitate to ask for clarification. This buys you time and helps you understand the query better, allowing you to formulate a more precise response.

Break Down Your Response: Mentally segment your answer into smaller, manageable parts. Think of it as an internal Excel spreadsheet, breaking down complex thoughts into clear, concise points.

Reframe Your Focus: Instead of fixating on what others expect from you, focus on delivering what you know. Remind yourself of your expertise and the value you bring.

Long-Term Benefits

By actively managing your nervous system and reducing tension, you allow yourself to stay connected with your thoughts and feelings. This connection enables you to navigate conversations more effectively, buying time to think through questions and respond confidently.

Empathy and Connection

Understanding your body’s language not only helps you manage your responses but also enhances your empathy towards others. As you become more attuned to your emotions, you’ll also become more perceptive of the feelings of those around you, fostering deeper connections both professionally and personally.

Conclusion

Speaking up, especially in high-pressure situations, is a challenge for conscientious individuals. However, by becoming mindful of your needs, practising breathwork, and reframing your focus, you can navigate these moments with greater confidence and clarity.

Embrace the language of your body, and you'll find that not only will you manage these moments better, but you'll also enhance your ability to connect with others, creating a more fulfilling and impactful professional and personal life.