How to kick your fear of Public Speaking?
Are you one of the many people who start to sweat just a little at the idea of getting up to speak in front of a group of people? Then you might suffer from the fear of public speaking.
According to the National social anxiety centre, 75% of the population has a fear of public speaking, with only 8% seeking professional help despite the negative impact on careers and wages. And isn't that a shame?
This truth highlights the prevalence of public speaking fear and the need for people to seek professional help. But not everybody suffers from fear of public speaking. About 40% of the population suffers from social anxiety, which is considered a modern-day disease.
As many of my clients have come to understand, public speaking is a fantastic skill that most people should master for their own benefit. Whether you want to make a career out of it or just want to be able to feel comfortable speaking publicly, in meetings or presentations on a personal level.
Regardless of the fears you may have right now, it is possible for you to communicate confidently on and off stage.
So how do you kick the public speaking anxiety? I want to share five simple but powerful tools on how to overcome your fear of public speaking and become a public speaking master.
Why Are People Afraid Of Public Speaking?
As you already know many people suffer mild or serious forms of speaking anxiety. Some of the physical symptoms you might know include a racing heart and you may find it harder to breathe as the chest tightens. You could feel sweaty, dizzy, or nauseous, you might feel unsafe and even want to bolt out of the room. Some people even feel public speaking anxiety when making direct eye contact with members of the audience.
Many people learn how to overcome their public speaking fears by learning mindful communication techniques and also by taking public speaking classes.
Another method that has proven to work is to practice exposure therapy, however, it is to be taken with a grain of salt. It is not wise to go for a swim in deep turbulent waters if you know you are not a strong swimmer or have never really swum before.
Whether you have glossophobia (fear of public speaking) or are just nervous about your speech, the right tools will give you the confidence you need to achieve your public speaking goals. I want to share with you five tools you can use right off the bat without needing much practice.
Tool one: Total acceptance
In order to overcome your fears and anxieties about public speaking, you have to first acknowledge that this fear exists. When you speak in front of people, it puts you in a vulnerable or somewhat exposed position which you might interpret as being judged. Once this happens, the amygdala, the part of your brain that responds to danger or threat, gets triggered. As a result, you experience a chemical reaction of fight or flight—heavy heart pulsations, sweaty palms, dry throat or a blank mind... sounds familiar? This is a natural reaction, and it is your nervous system’s protection mechanism. Understanding that your body is unconsciously moving into a defensive position can help you to understand that it is not you, per se', but rather your unconscious mind trying to protect you. Then there’s no need to judge yourself when you experience this, but instead, simply learn to accept this sensation to be present and how to manage your body response with mindfulness and you will notice that it subsides faster every time you speak.
Tool two: Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness can be a helpful practice for overcoming the fear of public speaking. Here are a few ways in which mindfulness can assist you in managing and reducing your public speaking anxiety:
Become aware of body sensations. Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment without judgment. By bringing awareness to your body and physical sensations, you can notice the signs of anxiety, such as increased heart rate, shallow breathing, or tense muscles. Recognizing these sensations allows you to acknowledge and accept them without letting them control your experience. Deep, slow breathing will calm your nervous system reduces stress, and promote a sense of relaxation. Notice the story in your mind and how it changes as your emotions change. Like the old chinses saying goes, nothing is as it seems, nor is it otherwise.
Tool three: Unmasking Your Fear
In addition to the fear of public speaking or social anxiety, everyone also has unique personal reasons to feel anxious about being in the spotlight. And most of that reasons are reflected in your self-talk. To tackle your fear of public speaking get really honest and ask yourself: What am I really so afraid of? Is it the fear of not being perfect? Being rejected? Being revealed as not good enough? Being a failure? Not being understood or accepted? Being disliked?
Check if this story holds true when you compare it to reality. Seek to understand what the root cause of your fear is, and then go a step further. For example, say you identified that you have a fear of not being liked. So what? What’s the worst that can happen if this fear is realized? Will you lose your life? No. In fact, most audiences are empathetic to the speaker, and happy that they aren't the one having to give the presentation. Remember 75% of all people suffer from a fear of public speaking.
Being able to identify the root cause of your fear and remove the unknown or vague parts of it will take a lot of its power away.
Tool 3: Focusing On What You Can Control
Often people feel out of control when speaking in public. What will the audience think? What if someone asks a question I don't have the answer to? What if this or what if that? These are elements you can't control. But, there are many elements of a successful talk that you have full control of, such as:
You can prepare well.
You can understand the interests of your audience
You can use a proven speech structure
You can be mindful of your body language
You can work on improving the vocal variety
and so much more
A big part of what will make you a great speaker is gaining an understanding of speaking tools and communication skills. Public speaking is a skill, and just like any other skill, it can be learned, practised and perfected. Remember that great public speakers aren't born, they are made. And just as they made themselves into great public speakers so can you.
Tool 5: Shifting Focus
One of the fastest and most effective ways to overcome your fear of public speaking is to shift your focus away from yourself and onto your audience. Instead of questioning yourself: What if I forget what to say? What if they don’t like me? What if they judge me?
Instead ask yourself: What drives my passion to speak on this subject? What can I give to my audience that no one else can? And how am I different from other people which allows me to deliver my message in the most powerful way, my way? How can I make this fun?
Consciously shift your attention away from your fears and what you stand to lose and instead focus on what you can give to your audience and what you can gain. Public speaking is a conversation where both parties are allowed to win. By understanding this you will soon see that there is no room left to stress about what might go wrong or how you might be perceived. Not only does this shift of focus and calm your fears, but it will also help you become a remarkable speaker— a person who can communicate confidence!
Summary.
Oftentimes we tend to reject our fears hoping they will just leave. Instead, I implore you to face and understand your fears of public speaking mindfully and empathetically, to connect with your body to become an unforgettable, engaging and authentic speaker. Understanding that every action is motivated by one or more internal emotional needs, which can be significance, connection or simply safety and certainty will allow you to become more response-able and give you back control of yourself and, the conversation. Being mindful of your self-talk and knowing how to meet your needs will change the way you communicate forever. Start here today and make the first move.