Supercharge your meeting productivity by understanding the difference between your map and the territory
Creating a smooth-flowing meeting, avoiding conflict and confusion, and being able to create mutual understanding within a set time frame without distracting interruptions can be a challenge – but it is not impossible. The key to a productive meeting lies in understanding how participants think, by looking into their map of reality and bringing everyone into the same territory. So, what does this all mean?
“The map is not the territory” is the concept that the way we perceive the world isn’t reality as it is, but rather as we choose to see it. This is a concept developed by noted mathematician Alfred Korzybski. Korzybski developed the idea to explain how belief is different from reality. When we interact with the world, we respond to our internalised perception of reality. But this mental map we create is not reality as it is. How we define things is based on our interpretations, founded on our adopted values and belief systems. You may ask, “But why would my map be inaccurate? After all, I know that what I believe is correct!”
The short answer is that all internal maps of reality are inaccurate, to some extent. An accurate map of a city would be cluttered with precise information, making it hard to distinguish the important from the unimportant. Meanwhile, a working map of reality is a summary of what we deem to be the important features. Think of it like a tourist map from your hotel: it portrays just enough information to help you find only what you're looking for, but not much else. Likewise, our perception of the world (i.e. our map) might be different from the real world (i.e. the actual territory). While it might sound obvious, a surprisingly large number of people tend to confuse their beliefs with reality, which is the cause of much conflict in meeting rooms across the world.
Let's dive into this further.
Humans process information about our environment (the territory) continuously. Our five sensory systems de-code and re-code this information to suit our map. These five senses - visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory - are the language of our brain, and they enable us to map our reality to help us communicate and get by in life, based on what we know and believe to be important. Our language reveals how we map our realities - because the words and tone we use gives clues to others as to what's important in our map, which guides our behaviour.
Check your map of reality and change the way you communicate today.
So, how does this apply to meetings? To solve certain problems with ourselves and/or with other people, you can deploy the process of re-mapping - an important problem-solving strategy to create common ground. John Grinder and Richard Bandler, the founders of NLP, explained how people create inaccurate maps of reality by failing to test their maps of the world against the experience of their senses in reality, and falling short of creating the outcomes they desire due to inaccurate information on their map. Re-mapping helps to recalibrate this information and enables you to better understand and empathise with others and see things in a new light. Re-mapping will help you to empower yourself and others to bring more empathy and productivity, and also teach you to make your own map of the world richer and more useful.
Here are 3 strategies for re-mapping:
1. See other people’s points of view
When you have a disagreement with someone, or just don’t understand why they have done something, do the following mental experiment. Slip into their shoes and look at the world, and yourself, from their point of view. Aim to assume and embody their map of reality, rather than just thinking “What would I do in that situation?” You will get better quality information if you match their physiology (their body language and what is alive in them). To match someone’s physiology, stand as they stand, breathe as they breathe and "become" the other person for some time.
To avoid the cognitive error of “mind-reading”, which is where people talk and act as if they know for sure what someone else is thinking or feeling, remember that the intuitions you get from this exercise are just guesses about what the other person is thinking and feeling. Never take your discoveries as true facts, but always match your intuitions against what the person actually does.
2. To influence others, start from their map of the world
Don’t anticipate others to jump to your map and simply adopt it as theirs. This would be like asking a devout Hindu to believe in Catholicism without knowing anything about it or vice versa. Does the other person have enough clear information about what you are asking them to do? Discover their map of reality and start from that position. This will feel like an emotional non-threatening place to them and make sense to them; a position that is consistent with their values and beliefs. Then you can begin to build bridges to where you want the person to get to. You will always need to meet the person where they are, and never expect them to come to you.
Think of someone you have been trying to influence or trying to get to change their mind, without much success so far. Which of their values or beliefs could have been blocking the way of the change you want them to make? And which of their values or beliefs might assist in moving them towards where you want them to be? Often when other people's maps are being forced upon us, our natural reaction is to defend our map, regardless of who is right or wrong - we fear that our identity is at stake and that we must protect it at all costs. Take your time and discover someone's map thoroughly before trying to convince them of something other than their reality.
3. Explore the boundaries of your map as you go
A great question to ask yourself is what are the limits of your map? What do you feel you can or can’t do, and how do you know that it's true? What are the areas in your life that are not going as well as you wish, and may suggest that your map could do with some tweaking?
Ask yourself these questions:
· "Where do I have a belief that is holding me back or not serving me?" For example, some people stop themselves from exercising because they believe they are not sporty people – actively be mindful of examples in your reality where that belief is not true.
· "Where do I tend to make generalisations?" Actively look for specific counter-examples. There are always going to be exceptions to any generalisation, but see if you can spot when you tell yourself things using the words “always,” “never” or “everyone,” and so on.
· When you think you can’t do something that you would like to do, ask yourself “What would happen if I did?” and "What would I need to make this happen?"
The value of understanding the difference between the map and the territory
Once you fully understand the difference between the map of reality and the real territory, you will be able to accept your own and other people's points of view and beliefs for what they are with understanding and empathy, rather than holding them to be absolute truths. If you can accept the limitations of your views and beliefs, you can evaluate and change them as you learn and grow as a person. It will help you to become a better leader and negotiator in meetings and ensure a healthy workflow, develop better relationships with those around you, create positive life experiences for yourself and others, and improve the quality of your life as a whole.
If you'd like to forge more effective communication skills to better understand your own and other people's maps quicker, help is available through professional training and development.