How to be more like-able
To be more like-able you want to display open and consistent body language. A useful and conscious attitude is the foundation for mindful body language. But what is mindful body language exactly?
There are two main 2 categories for body language, open and closed body language.
Open body language exposes the heart and full body, which suggests you are not just willing but enthusiastic about this conversation. Imagine two people starting a conversation facing one another heart to heart, they form a powerful bond and mutual trust is likely to increase here.
Closed body language on the other hand protects the heart though gestures that express resistance to the conversational energy. Feelings like frustration, impatience and nervousness are common here and can be great indicators for you to change to a more open position and take control of your energy.
Crossed arms are one of the most common gestures of closed body language. Now keep in mind that the person might just feel cold or is tired, which might also cause people to cross their arms. Body language has to always be seen in situational context. Crossing one’s arms protects the heart and therefore one’s feelings and may be even the self-image. Donald Trump is a great example of closed body language.
Turning your body sideways relative to your conversational partner can also evoke a similar feeling and acts also as protective mechanism. If you notice someone moving into this position, try to open them back up before pushing on with your point or you might lose them altogether.
Body language is not just about the body it is also your facial expressions that can be open or closed as well. A open face smiles, makes eye contact and displays clear expressions such as raised eye-brows, nodding along and may be even wandering eyes to see images in their mind painted by your words.
A closed face looks stern and avoids eye contact or has clenched jaw muscles, may be even heavy breathing is present.
Another key to ensuring people authentically connect with you is displaying a consistent and congruous message across your entire body. Inconsistencies tend to bother people and you might run the danger of being misinterpreted or even misunderstood or disliked altogether.
When we look at the mindful communication method we see it is made up of four communication pillars, body language and tone including pitch and pace and language. So what you say and how you say it shapes the psychological space for the conversational dynamic to arise in.
If your message is not aligned across the pillars of mindful communication the other person might begin to assume you are not being truthful and both of you will feel unpleasant.
Just think of a friend that says ‘I’m fine’ while he or she looks away with crossed arms while tapping the foot or shifting uncomfortable in the chair. It’s not hard to tell that they aren’t feeling ‘fine’ at all, which robs their words of credibility and creates awkwardness.
So be mindful of your open or closed body language signals and actively adjust your body to emphasis your message with the right energy and remain like-able and authentic.